Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize