U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
They took my balls.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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