Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
