theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
