I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
