Fine. I'll sleep in my office
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
