She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
