she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
