in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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