Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize