haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Randomize
