you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
