I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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