Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
