I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
