When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
sex in a hospital.. check
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
