I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
