I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize