I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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