There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
