last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
