when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you would pick up someone in the library
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
