apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
