If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
