Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
