I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
