Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
