Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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