Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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