How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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