And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
