He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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