On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
