I wish I only lived at night.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
