as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
