You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I want to be your penis for a week.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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