Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
