No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize