i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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