Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
