I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
