Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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