She's JV to your varsity
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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