3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
