In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
