well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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