Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
