someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
