I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
