Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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