Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
