On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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