Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
