my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
