The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
