Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
