some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
