I need help removing her.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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