Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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