Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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