I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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